There are times when everyone finds themselves in that “sweet spot,” you know those times, when you are confident in every step you take, you know exactly who you are and what you want in life. Even if that moment was short-lived, that kind of satisfactoral bliss has been felt by everybody at one point.
But more often than not, something happens to interrupt that bliss along the way, interfering and changing. What you were sure of yesterday, begins to be untrue the next. The way you thought you looked through the eyes of others seems disturbed or frozen, the permanate lines you thought would never be crossed are now starting to bleed into one another. You don’t exactly know why. Sometimes the reasons are small, sometimes they are big. Maybe you lost a bit of yourself while building so much love for another, or maybe you’ve become jaded by the people and city around you, getting lost in the actions, forgetting about the bigger picture; forgetting about yourself.
I must admit that I was feeling that way before I left for Korea, it wasn’t a bad or negative feeling but just a peculiar one. Today, visiting the Independence Hall of Korea I felt that I was beginning to see myself again for the first time, I realized that I had lost a bit of myself in the past year. I’m not hard on myself about it because forgetting things about yourself or what you want just happens –it’s just part of the game. Thankfully, however, I’ve found a way to combat this forgetfulness, at first it may seem counterproductive but actually it has worked for me so far.
Completely abandoning the things I knew and loved, allowed me to re-discover myself. In essence, placing myself in a situation where I have to start from scratch, and for the most part, be utterly vulnerable and dependent on myself–has awakened the hybernating traits within me that I haven’t used in a while. They never left me completely, I just misplaced them for a bit.
All I know, is that today I’m exactly where I need to be, and I know who I am. All I can know is today.