I think that more often than not, the majority of the promises and statements people make are conditional. Meaning that people don’t just say or do things because they want to. They do things because they expect something in return. People’s actions are based on certain conditions. These conditions lie within our subconscious, and even though we don’t know that they exist within us, they are certainly the driving forces behind our actions. This is nothing new, in fact it is extremely fundamental. We do something on the condition that we will get a certain reaction out of it.
For those of you who say, “I don’t do things for my gain, or “I believe in helping people without expecting anything in return.”
Look closer within yourself.
Even if you truly do something for someone without expecting the favor returned, for example: loaning someone money and not asking them to pay you back—may certainly seem like a selfless act. But think for a second and ask yourself: if you were loaning a close friend some money, would you feel good about yourself? Would you feel happy or pleased with yourself knowing you committed a genuine and true act of selflessness? If your answer is yes, then you’ve already subconsciously inserted your conditions upon this act. So the question is, was the act that you committed truly genuine? Does this concept of “being genuine” even exist in nature? I’m not so sure.
Now before you get all angry about what I’m saying here, which is: deep-down even the most selfless of individuals have their own self-serving conditions they place on the world—just remember–this is a theory I’m trying to work out. You can take it or leave it. But I believe that I am on to something.
If doing something for someone else, makes you feel like a better person, you are indeed placing the conditions of your happiness on other people. And that’s not fair.
Unconditional love is supposed to be tragic, not the fairytale people are deluded into believing. True unconditional love destroys you, because you do things for someone because you have to, to keep on breathing; not because you want to.